If you are planning a 1-2 week "vacation" in the Philippines this web site exceeds what you need - by far. Still, it might be a good idea to learn what awaits you, should you venture outside the confines of your resort of choice.

If you are planning an extended visit, considering moving to / retiring in the Philippines or trying to find a partner here, you need to keep reading!

When I was considering, then planning my trip I visited so many web sites, the subject of which is the Philippines, it made my head swim. They had one thing in common – never, in all their blathering and gushing, was one single negative thing said. Taken literally, I could expect heaven, itself, on the end of a twelve hour plane ride. Ah, but heaven (if it exists) is not for sale, and reachable via American Airlines, most certainly not!

People never cease to amaze me. They are not children. They know someone is paying, and that someone is not the owner of the web site. Money is being generated, to pay for that web site. Those that pay are buying something (exposure for their advertising). Those that pay buy the loyalty of the owner of the web site, as well.

And your status, in all this? You are a commodity; a statistic, used to prove the ability of the site to provide exposure of the advertising it displays, and nothing more. The real purpose of the site is to get your money and, in order to accomplish that, it will be necessary for you to come to the Philippines.

And that, CHILDREN, is why you never hear (or read) the first, discouraging word. The paragraphs above set the theme, for this web site. I will not treat you as a child, or a fool. You came here to discover the truth about the Philippines; what it's like, to be here, and you're going to catch that, right between your beady little eyes :)

The reason for that is, you are going to be asked to pay. You supply the money that makes things happen, so my loyalty belongs to you.

What does this site have to offer?


In the article entitled "The Philippine Primer" I will warn you of several potentially fatal mistakes you can make here. Oh, really? Potentially fatal? Check this excerpt from my Philippine Primer:



My first shocker came unexpectedly, as they almost always do. My Lady and I sought our breakfast, one morning before we were actually together, in her home town of Cagayan De Oro. In the lobby of a near-by hotel was a breakfast buffet. If you did not stay the night you could buy your meal. We had eaten there a few times. We walked in expecting nothing, save barely mediocre food.

Beside the front desk sat a Joe. I took one look in his direction. His eyes spoke of fighting for control. Panic was written on his face. Beside him sat a very dubious looking female.

I paused, tasting the mental air. The conversation with the desk clerk was about finding something. Soon it became apparent Joe's wallet and passport had been taken from his room, as they enjoyed their morning shower. The desk clerk was offering to allow him to make calls on the hotel phone.

I walked over, offering to help if I could. The man was Australian. By then his eyes were dim, with shock. He was in bad trouble. He had no money - none, at all. I offered a little money to him. He accepted, gratefully. Still, he did not have the price of another night at the hotel.


The Philippine Islands are, quite literally, one unthinkably, massively huge, safety concern! The place is crowded and that is exacerbated, by the lack of infrastructure. At first it seems none of these people give a good God Damn if they see the sun rise, tomorrow. But being here and interacting with them, you know that's not true.

Reality (if there is such a thing) is external; a thing/setting/situation to which we must adapt, in order to survive. Filipinos are blissfully ignorant of the unbelievably high level of danger they face, each and every day. And the very most scary part of that may well be the means available (read not available) to save their lives, when the inevitable occurs. The locals are not scared, because they have seen nothing else.

The first and most likely fatal mistake you will make here is simply walking out into the street. Every vehicle in the Philippines has windows that are tinted, BLACK. In the mind of a Filipino, not being able to see who is in a vehicle is much more important than the driver being able to see out of that vehicle! People here are fond of driving without lights, as well. Yes, I am serious.

If you leave your hotel at night be certain to wear something white. A bright orange shirt will work. White shoes get my attention, as well. Be aware that there are cars and trucks running without lights and divers can not see you, due to their opaque windows.

It gets even better! Below you will learn the rules are not enforced, in the Philippines. For now, know that an inordinate number of these blind drivers are drunk on their asses, as well!

I know you thought I was exaggerating, and/or using scare tactics when I said I would help you not to make potentially fatal mistakes. I was not. I'm not FUCKING kidding about the next one, either...


You don't know me. Let's just call me a dinosaur. I come from a time when a man stood tall, looked you in your eye, said what he meant and meat what he said. I said potentially fatal mistakes and that, buddy, is exactly what I meant.

The rest of my Philippine Primer is full, to overflowing with the every-day problems that come with being and/or living here, and how to solve them. This document is updated periodically, always available to members and to be seen, nowhere else. The right way to find and meet a Filipina is included, as well.

There are several forums pertaining to Philippine living. I think I have been to all of them. Online forums, in general, are places where people suck up to the site operator in order to acquire status, which they then use in ways that are not conducive to the purpose of the forum. That has not happened here, and it never will. Every single user is treated in exactly the same manner.

The result of this is you, not being required to read a redneck manifesto attached to messages from some retired marine, living in Texas (but a Philippines expert, none the less).

Our forum is about the Philippines. The users of our forum are living in PH, visiting PH or considering same. Credence, politics, cookie baking and jet engine mechanics will be discussed elsewhere. Those that will not comply with the simple and friendly rules or become aggressive/obnoxious will leave, on the toe of my boot, never to return.

And so, if you are in need of the best diesel mechanic in Cebu, just post a question. The nice, friendly people in our forum (the only ones still standing!) will answer, if they can.

That's just the beginning. Now there is a resource, containing the experiences of Joes (male foreigners), as they pertain to businesses and organizations in the Philippines with which they have dealt. This resource came into being by my will, and by my hand.

You now have access to the only database containing the names, addresses and sometimes even pictures of businesses in the Philippines that have a history of treating foreigners badly. You will find the reverse, as well – businesses that have been reported by users as places where they were treated well. These records are created only by our members and CAN NOT BE BOUGHT.

No longer can those in the Philippines that cheat Joe operate anonymously. Here you will find their dirty laundry, hanging in plain sight! Likewise, those that treat Joe fairly will be rewarded, by good reviews that will bring many more Joes, and the money they carry, into their places of business.

This web site is for you, Joe. Make it your port, in the storm; your safe house, in the hood; your home, away from home. Here we will become more than individuals by thinking with one mind (as far as knowing what's going on, at least) and then acting, with a single intent, which is to avoid those that would cheat, and abuse us. They will be identified as they cheat and/or abuse one of our members.

According to the U.S. department of state web site there are 300,000 Americans in the Philippines, on any given day.

Education is the name of our game. Three hundred thousand voices will speak as one and the message will be, “don't tread on me.” If a Joe gets screwed that Joe will smile, take a few pictures with his cell phone as he retreats, then enter what happened here. The owner of that business will then notice a distinct lack of Joes… in fact, there will be no more!

Word will get around. Joe has gone high tech. Mess with one of them, and you mess with all of them. Suddenly it will be in the best interest of all Filipinos to make absolutely certain their employees treat Joe very, very well.

Can you imagine how much money three hundred thousand of us spend, every day? Money talks, and bullshit walks. And the bullshit that has been going down will go away :)